Day One

The gate room feels cold and dark in comparison with the brilliant, oppressive heat of daytime on Dominat. Atlantis' near-Earth gravity feels too light, as if John might simply float away.

Both of those first impressions immediately pale before the staggering mental onslaught of Atlantis. For a moment, he's deaf and blind to everything but a wild barrage of flickering images and scrolling data screens and status reports on thousands of unknown systems that he can't immediately process. Finally, he remembers how to reach out and manipulate Ancient technology, and he commands it to STOP.

When Evan bumps into him from behind, John mentally shakes himself and steps out of the way for the rest of the returning team, the marines falling into neat ranks at attention. Shaaziya's staring open-mouthed at the gate room, and Rodney's talking at her about Atlantis, while Rania squirms in his arms to get down and explore. John looks over the ensemble with a critical eye; with the exception of Shaaziya and Rania, they all look shabby in their old, baggy uniforms. Every one of them has been pared down, dark and hardened by Dominat's sun.

A woman in a chic, gray-skirted suit and a colonel in Atlantis uniform are walking down the stairs towards them. Director Shen greets him with a cool smile, but keeps her hands clasped behind her back. "Welcome back to Atlantis. I am Director Shen Xiaoyi and this is Colonel Reynolds, Chief Military Officer of Atlantis."

John doesn't get any emotional reading from her; he's concentrating on keeping previously unknown automatic update function to stay off, so it's all down to regular body language. He gives her his meet-the-natives smile. "Thank you, it's really strange to be here. Colonel, pleased to meet you, sir."

Reynolds smile is genuine and welcoming, "I've heard a lot about you, Colonel Sheppard. Glad to finally meet the man behind the legend."

He isn't quite sure how to take that and elbows Rodney in the side when he snickers.

Rodney grins and steps forward to shake hands with both of them. "Dr. Rodney McKay. This is my wife Shaaziya lal Q'yn, and my daughter Rania McKay lal Q'yn."

"Dr. McKay, Ms. Q'yn, my pleasure." Shaaziya gives Shen a shallow bow as Rodney pumps Shen's hand vigorously.

"God, it's good to be back, at last."

As Rodney takes a breath to continue, John introduces the rest of his people. "This is Major Evan Lorne."

Reynolds nods at Lorne. "Actually we've met; we worked together a few times in the SGC. Glad you finally made it, Major."

Evan pops off a smart salute, "Yes sir, thank you. It's very good to be here."

"And Lieutenants Hobeck, Faraj, and Cadman. And the rest of the Company." John finishes with a wave towards the formation.

Colonel Reynolds goes to greet his new people, and Shen returns her attention to Sheppard. "We will begin the debriefings tomorrow morning, and while I'm sure that you would all like to spend a little time to get settled in, I must ask that you first go to the infirmary."

"Of course." John knows the standard operating procedure, and under the circumstances, he wouldn't allow himself to skip it, either.

"I must apologize in advance, I am sure that you understand our position, Colonel Sheppard, but until we are assured that you are not a threat, there will be a small detail assigned to you."

John nods. It could have been much worse; they could have immediately thrown him in the brig.

"Colonel Reynolds will see you to the infirmary and assign quarters. We will debrief in the conference room at nine o'clock." Shen nods before walking away.

Rodney leans towards John and says in a low voice, "Is it me, or does it seem a little chilly in here?"

"Yes. Yes it does."

~*~

With more than seventy people waiting for a check up, the infirmary is in total chaos. The entire medical staff is on hand, drawing blood, doing cursory physical examinations and updating inoculations. The line is out the door, but John's sitting on a bed when a pretty doctor introduces herself. She flashes her dimples at him disarmingly as she reaches out to shake John's hand. "Jennifer Keller."

"John Sheppard." Coming clean early has seemed to work so far, so he gets it out of the way. "I should warn you, there might be some... disturbing results, if you're going to compare this to anything."

"Yes, I've heard." Keller is nodding as she begins the visual examination, poking at his ears and shining the penlight in his eyes. "Why don't you hit me with it."

"I'll have an appendix and tonsils where I didn't have them before. Bones that were broken won't show any sign of it. All identifying scars and marks are missing." John hits the highlights, but he's sure that there are other, more arcane medical things he doesn't remember.

"I would classify that as disturbing." Dr. Keller looks curious, not at all disturbed.

"You'll want to do a full DNA work up, because other than my appearance, there isn't any other way to identify me." John keeps a tight rein on his frustration, the unhappiness that wells up. He thought that he'd put all of that behind him, but he'd only pushed it away. "And that might even be a little off."

"Alright then, open wide." She scrapes a sample from the inside of his mouth, and caps the swab in a bottle. "What's a scan going to reveal?"

"I don't know--the Daedalus didn't have one of those. You'll probably want to talk to Dr. Beckett."

Dr. Keller calls Carson over from the exam he's giving and they talk over his head for a few minutes, before Keller hands John a pair of scrubs. "Get comfortable Colonel, it's going to be a long night."

"Yeah, I thought so."

~*~

John's ravenous by the time Dr. Keller allows him to escape her clutches in the early morning hours. Rodney had escaped fairly early, and the long trail of Marines had finally all been taken care of while John was still undergoing every test Keller had at her disposal.

His assigned guard is trailing him at a reasonable distance, and John appreciates the discretion, wondering at the fact that it's only a one-man detail. The commissary's closed, but there's always something available, and John snags four sandwiches, a couple of pieces of fruit and three bottles of water, then goes to sit on the balcony outside. The SF stations himself just inside the door, discreet, but there all the same.

It's as beautiful as he remembers. The sky is full of stars, far more than in the Dominat sky, and the huge moon has already set, so the ocean glitters in the starlight. The scent of seawater, and the wet feel of the atmosphere are both familiar and strange.

He can't see the rest of the city from here, and he has a powerful urge to get in a puddlejumper. John squashes the impulse. He's pretty sure that everything is off limits, though he hasn't been told very much of anything, except for the room assignment passed on to him by Reynolds.

John closes his eyes and relaxes the iron control he's been exerting since he arrived, allowing a little of Atlantis to bleed through. He searches for a balance between being fully aware of the internal interface and completely shut down, like the Kármán Line, an arbitrary line drawn in the graduated boundary between sky and space.

His watch stopped working years ago; he's not even sure if it was Dominat, or him that had caused it to go on the fritz. He's heard stories of people struck by lightning who can't wear a watch. Still, the faint rime of light on the far horizon is John's clue that it's probably time to find his room.

There's a basic kit, and a couple of uniforms in the standard utilitarian quarters, as well as a few boxes of his old stuff. A new laptop is on the desk, and a small stack of neatly folded linens is on the narrow bed.

Back in the days when they were completely cut off from Earth, when John was in charge, there wasn't any way to return belongings to the SGC. It had become a tradition to clean out the room of someone who was lost by allowing friends to take one item each as a remembrance, as well as being a crafty way of recycling during a time of dire need.

John wonders who had come to his room, solemn and orderly, to choose among his few belongings. How long had Teyla waited, before declaring that they weren't coming back? Or had she never given up hope, and this had been stored away ever since they were lost, waiting for his return?

He unpacks the boxes, makes the bed, powers up the laptop and briefly checks what's on it. Unsurprisingly, it's a standalone, and equally unsurprising are the thousands of reports.

John takes a long shower. The miracle of unlimited hot water had been a nice discovery when they'd first arrived, but after two years on Dominat, it's a glorious, marvelous luxury. He forces himself to get out when he's pink and wrinkled, and carefully shaves with a new razor. He discards the old uniform that’s little more than rags and slowly dresses in the crisp, new clothes. Socks. Antiperspirant. John understands Elizabeth's tears over a simple packet of Kleenex; he's feeling a little weepy as he puts away the Quaralyn and puts on John Sheppard, Air Force pilot, before he heads out to catch some breakfast prior to the debriefing.

 

Day Two

Teyla is sitting with Zelenka when John arrives at the mess hall. They slowly approach one another, eyes glued to each other, and for John, it's like a drink of water in the desert sun. Teyla draws him down, and John reaches for her, goes willingly into the Athosian embrace. He's bubbling over with the indescribable joy of just being here, breathing in her sweet breath and the feeling of her strong shoulders under his hands. "God, Teyla, I missed you."

"And I have missed you, John. It has been too many days."

"Are you alright?" John can't help but pet Teyla's shoulders, stroking and squeezing them. She feels warm, and he revels in her joy, bubbling up and out of her.

"Since the Odyssey passed on the news of finding the Daedalus, I have been... smug. I knew that you were not completely lost, but we heard no rumor, or found any trace of you on any planet that we searched.

"We were a long ways off."

"I heard."

"Suppose we’ve made enough of a spectacle?" John glances at her through his lashes and gives her a silly smirk.

Teyla leans back, her hands still on his shoulders and she gives him a swift, tight hug before letting go.

John looks up to see Dr. Zelenka and a few other faces he recognizes, waiting to welcome him back and shake his hand with a slap on the back, and then, behind them, more unfamiliar people crowding in to meet him.

He grins at all of them. God, he’d missed Atlantis! John feels the sweet and mellow waves of affection and good will rolling off of all them.

The scene is repeated when Rodney arrives with his family in tow. John can see the shocked looks when he picks Rania up, resting her on his hip in the crook of one arm and introduces her around, as Rodney's introducing Shaaziya. Rania curiously pets the back of his head, since there's no long hair to pull. "You ready for some breakfast, zahra'an?"

"Yes!" she crows.

John's barely seated with a tray, when Rodney points to his watch. "Sheppard, briefing in ten."

He hurriedly eats as much as he can before he has to abandon the rest of it, still hungry. Shaaziya takes Rania, and Rodney leaves his family in Teyla's capable hands as they head to the conference room.

~*~

Shen Xiaoyi is already there, with Colonel Reynolds to one side, and, unexpectedly, Daniel Jackson to the other. "Please have a seat." She waits patiently for Rodney to power up his laptop and get settled before beginning. John sits next to Rodney across the table from Shen, nodding at Colonel Reynolds and Dr. Jackson.

"Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay, allow me to again welcome you back to Atlantis. Your presence was sorely missed, and I hope that we can find some way to reintegrate you into the community, once a few issues have been cleared up."

The tone of Shen's voice has John instantly going to alert status, even though he was expecting a fight. He's getting nothing from Shen, but Colonel Reynolds is calm, and Dr. Jackson is throwing off a lot of curiosity tinged with unhappy vibes, but John can't tell why, or who they're directed at.

John watches surreptitiously as Rodney leans back in his chair, arms crossed, and his chin lifted slightly. "Okay, let's hear it." He's uncharacteristically cool and collected.

"Let us start with you, Dr. McKay. Your situation is not as problematical as Colonel Sheppard's. Colonel Carter and Dr. Zelenka are both quite anxious to have you back on the science team, though I am afraid that your intention to keep your family here on Atlantis poses a problem."

Rodney doesn't answer, though he gives Shen his, 'you are too stupid to live,' glare.

Shen ignores it, and continues. "Atlantis is not a suitable environment for children; from your own reports, an Athosian child caused the release of the alien entity, which could have had terrible consequences for all of you. In fact, that incident was one of the reasons that the Athosians moved to the mainland, am I correct?"

John is now openly watching McKay. It's true that Jinto had accidentally let loose the shadow thing, but the reason they had moved was the suspicion of espionage over Teyla's necklace. Shen is retconning, remaking history to suit her needs, and it makes John very wary of her and her motives for doing so. Rodney still just stares at Shen, though now his jaw is clenching and unclenching with the effort of containing his ire.

"However, Atlantis is now more thoroughly surveyed, and in consideration of your past contributions to the Atlantis mission, I am willing to agree to a probationary period of thirty days while we both assess the situation."

Shen's taken aback when Rodney simply smiles with a triumphant look and answers calmly, "That sounds fine. Thank you."

Dr. Jackson's eyebrows crawl up to meet his hairline in surprise. Was this really the same Rodney McKay from Antarctica, who'd blistered everyone within shouting range over the smallest mistakes?

John doesn't smile, but he's laughing at Shen just the same. She has no idea of what she's in store for.

She continues on, though she looks puzzled by McKay's response. "And so we come to you, Colonel Sheppard. The medical report, your own report and the implications contained in them leave the IOA and the SGC with grave reservations."

"I understand that, ma'am."

"The fact that you chose to remain behind on Dominat, rather than return immediately is also an issue."

"It was our fault that Dominat was exposed to the Wraith, ma'am. I had to make sure that they were at least nominally protected; I felt like it was my duty, and the least we could do."

"I see. And how do you feel about your duty to Dominat now?"

"I've put it all behind me. I'm ready to move forward and focus on my duties and responsibilities here."

Shen gives John a slightly skeptical look as she continues. "The expedition members that returned some time ago were questioned quite thoroughly, and, through their own admission, the picture they painted is skewed as you did not maintain close contact with them for over a year."

John nods, relieved that at lease she recognizes the inherent bias of the Quarter. A 'year' isn't quite the right time frame, but he doesn't correct her.

"The personnel that returned with you yesterday will also be interviewed at some length; their responses and opinions given the same weight. It will be some time before our picture of you is completed, Colonel."

"Yes ma'am."

"The SGC has also voiced concerns that you may not be willing to accept anything less than the full command of Atlantis.

"I believe that my report states that I'm willing to do whatever job that I'm given here. I fully stand by that statement."

"That decision is Colonel Reynolds', pursuant to the additional requirement that you satisfactorily complete an interview with both Dr. Jackson and Dr. Heightmeyer. The detail assigned to you will remain until this process is complete."

"That sounds fair."

"We will meet again, once I have had an opportunity to review their initial assessments." Director Shen stands and swiftly leaves the conference room, as if she can barely stand to be in the same room with John.

John and Rodney exchange surprised glances as Colonel Reynolds stands. "Colonel, we'll talk in a few days. Dr. McKay." He nods pleasantly, and follows Shen out the door.

Rodney nods at the Colonel's back. "Well, that went well." Rodney's almost successful in not rolling his eyes. "I'm off to see all the new and insane ways Zelenka and Carter have managed to screw things up. Dr. Jackson, good to see you again," he says as he packs up his laptop.

"And you too, Dr. McKay."

John gives Dr. Jackson an interested flick of the eyebrow as Rodney powers out of the conference room. This is their carnival; he's just along for the rides.

Daniel returns the gesture with a smile. "So, let's not do this here."

"Fine by me, Dr. Jackson."

"Daniel, please."

"Alright, Daniel."

The guard is trailing behind them a few feet, and John is watching the people they pass in the corridors. There seems to be more people than when he was here last, and he gets a vague feeling of dissatisfaction and unhappiness from them. He figures that the tight reins of the IOA are chafing. "What kind of personnel turnover do they have these days?"

"That's difficult to say; quite a few people left when the Odyssey made contact, and many of their replacements have only been here a few months."

"Huh. I'd forgotten that."

"Here we are." Daniel waves his hand over the door sensor, and waves John into the temporary quarters. "Make yourself comfortable, you want a cup of coffee?"

What John really wants is a turkey sandwich, but he says, "Sure, sounds great. Black is fine." The room is larger than his, and there's a table and chairs to one side of the room that face the balcony. The doors are open and the fresh, cool breeze carries in the salty smell of the ocean.

John sits at the table, and Daniel hands him a cup before pulling his chair out and sitting down across from him. Daniel gives him a warm smile. "How are you settling in, everything okay?"

The warmth and curiosity in Daniel's voice eases some of the tension that John's been carrying since the briefing began. "You wouldn't believe how fantastic it was to have a shower."

Daniel laughs a little. "I understand completely, trust me. Why don't you tell me a little bit about your experiences on Dominat?"

"What do you want to hear?" John's got three anam worth of stories to tell, and it's difficult to know where to begin. Daniel's exuding waves of warm, curious excitement, but with the sheen of that same, oily discomfort from the conference room floating on top.

"Anything. The people you knew, the culture, the environment."

John shrugs a little, and begins with a story about Anbur. The conversation goes on for hours, Daniel asking questions and prompting him, until John's stomach begins to audibly growl and churn. The unending supply of hot, bitter coffee leaves him queasy, and with a dire need to relive himself. "Sorry. Do you mind if I, uh, use the head?"

"No, Not at all." Daniel sticks his head out the door and asks the guard to have a couple of trays sent in while John uses the facilities.

"I'm sorry, you should have said something. I tend to, ah, get wrapped up in things."

"It's okay." John figures that it's up to him to get the discussion on track. "So what about these Priors, and the Ori?"

"Before I answer that, let me ask you a question. How do you feel?"

"I feel fine."

Daniel laughs again, "I was told you might say that. Are you still able to sense the emotional resonance of the people around you?"

"Yeah. Except for Director Shen, but people can, I dunno, lock down their emotions, so that's not really unusual."

"It wasn't my idea, but an anti-Prior device has been running throughout Atlantis since your arrival. It's the only real Prior test we have."

John shakes his head. "That's what it was."

"What was what?"

"You, I could tell that there was something bothering you, but I couldn't figure out what it was. You don't like the idea of the device."

"No, but I could see where Shen was going with the idea, that if you were a threat, then it was better to be safe than sorry. And on those grounds I couldn't necessarily disagree."

"Yeah, I get that." So that was the real reason for the seemingly light security; Shen is counting on the device to protect her--too bad it's based on a fallacious premise.

Daniel says casually, "The thing is, I'm pretty sure that the device wouldn't have any effect on the Ori."

"You think I'm an Ori?" The idea shocks John; that hadn't occurred to him.

"Me? No, but the Priors didn't actually use any of the power of devotion themselves, it was all directed at the Ori, and you've stated that you felt like you were a transformer for the power that you received. That is what's causing the concern."

"But I don't—didn't use the power, either. Why don't you think I'm one of them?"

"Call it a gut feeling; plus, when I compare my personal experience with Adria and some of the ascended beings with the way that you talk about Dominat, they are quite dissimilar. From what you've said, the religion on Dominat sounds almost secular--it's basically several cults of personality, and the Ancients are not really seen as gods, per se. I'm not seeing the same level of fanaticism."

"They could be a little fanatical, though mostly it was over how to interpret and use the Avaxqaral."

"I have to admit that I'm quite jealous, it must have been a fantastic opportunity."

"I always saw it as just a tool. I wasn't that interested by the database here on Atlantis, either--which is much larger. I know that McKay and Weir found it pretty fascinating."

"Elizabeth has done some great work with the Atlantis database since she came back."

"She's still here?"

"Yes, though it's hard to drag her out of the labs. She led me to believe that you might have a better working knowledge of Ancient as a spoken language."

John twitches his head as he shrugs. "Possibly. Most of the Council meetings, and my dealing with the Patern were conducted in Ancient; they all knew each other's dialects, but Ancient was like, neutral ground."

"If you don't mind, I'd like very much to work with you as well."

John looks away and bites his lip absently. He's not suffering under any illusions that a place will automatically be made for him on Atlantis based simply on his past accomplishments. If he can use his fluency to his advantage, that's one more niche he can carve out for himself. "We can do that, sure."

A knock on the door signals the arrival of lunch, and the conversation moves away from business. John relaxes almost completely. Jackson seems like an honest, upfront person, who's truly interested in John's experiences, able to see beyond the possible threat that they represent.

By the time that Daniel's through with him, John's hoarse and bleary. Lunch was too many hours ago, and the lightheaded feeling hasn't dissipated. The dining hall is mostly empty, and John eats slowly as he lets Atlantis bleed through into his consciousness. He searches for Shen's anti-Prior device and finds it in the interface. He experiments with it a little, and has Atlantis stop broadcasting. He’s relieved to find that he doesn't notice any immediate difference in the way he feels. He turns it back on to cover his tracks and pushes the worry out of his mind. He is not an Ori.

~*~

John's guard confirms that Teyla's quarters haven't changed, and he swings by in the off chance that she's in.

She opens the door and smiles widely when she sees John. "Come in, John. I hoped that we would get an opportunity to 'catch up'."

Teyla sits cross-legged on the bed, and John sprawls in the comfortable chair near her. "Tell me how you've been, Teyla; was it bad?"

"On the contrary, Dr. Zelenka and I worked very well together. We made the decision to maintain the illusion that Atlantis was gone, and so supplies were always an issue, as we only traded with a very few planets. The mainland now has a thriving agribusiness."

"That's a relief, I always wondered how you were getting along; I kept imagining that Atlantis was destroyed, or in trouble."

"No, with the cloak and some strategically placed debris, they soon stopped coming to investigate, and we concentrated on more thoroughly studying Atlantis."

"Shen mentioned that in the briefing this morning."

"Even after three years, I still find the city of the Ancestors quite marvelous."

"Yeah, it's really great, better than great, to be back."

"Please, tell me of your time on Dominat. The rumors and gossip have been quite lively since the Odyssey returned."

John tells her stories of his time on Dominat--downplaying the worst of the conflicts and focusing on the oddities of the planet and people--for a few hours, until Teyla finally begs off. "I have an off-world mission in the morning, but I would like very much to hear more of these stories."

"Oh, I didn't realize. Sure, I'd like that."

"It would also please me, if you would care to begin to retrain with the bantos?"

"I would -- just let me know when. It's not like I have very much to do."

"Very well, John. I will see you on my return."

 

Day Three

After a night of tossing and turning, John gives up trying to sleep in the early hours and goes for a run. He keeps the pace slow enough so that his guard can keep up, because John's learned that he can run fast. The physical exertion, the smell of sweat and the sound of boots pounding in time together are all familiar, old friends. He takes the stairs two at a time, winding his way up the central spire.

The sensation of barely skimming the ground is new, though. The gravity still feels too light, and while John understands intellectually that it's a bad idea, he's struck with an urge to simply fly down the stairs.

He stands on the edge of the East Pier, watching as hint of shell pink at the horizon fades into the pale blue of morning. Williamson doesn't keep his distance from John like the last two guards, but stands right next to him. "That sure is pretty."

"Yes. Yes it is." John shoots Williamson a grin. "Have you been on Atlantis long?"

"Just a few months. Haven't had a chance to see much of the city, yet. The Colonel's been keeping us pretty busy."

"He seems like a nice guy."

"Colonel Reynolds is great, I served with him a couple of times at the SGC, and he's the best."

There was a time, it seems eons ago, that the Marines on Atlantis said that about John, and it's been too long since John could say that about any of his commanding officers. "Then I'm looking forward to serving with him." John turns away from the sparkling blue water.

~*~

Breakfast is a scene repeated from yesterday, with people greeting John and shaking his hand. Elizabeth appears and John waves her over. He stands as she approaches and sits down after her. "Elizabeth. Glad to see you're still here. Jackson told me you'd stayed."

"I missed you yesterday; you'd already gone to your briefing. How was it?"

"Chilly. But I spent the rest of the day with Dr. Jackson, and that was quite enlightening." John lowers his voice, even though there's no one within earshot. "Did you know that they suspected I was an Ori?"

Elizabeth nods. "Yes, I did. I tried to tell her that that was a ridiculous assumption to make, but it didn't seem to make a difference. Their experience with the Ori has the entire IOA suspicious and apprehensive."

"They've got an anti-Prior device channeled through Atlantis." John shakes his head.

"They can't make up their minds?" Elizabeth says it with a slight, wry smile, and John chuckles.

"Something like that."

"I’m sure that this, too, shall pass. Things always have a way of working out the way that they're supposed to."

John grimaces. "A little too passive for me, I plan to fight for it. And thanks for the advice, you know, back on Dominat. You and Caldwell were right." John doesn't miss her sadness; it's on her face and he can feel it. "What's up with the Colonel?"

"He went back to Earth with the full intention of retiring. I haven't heard from him."

He knows how that feels, to be left behind when circumstances change, and John's done the leaving a few times, too. "I'm sorry."

"It was just too much. I think it broke him."

Caldwell had tried so hard to not change, thought he was projecting the image of the firm, unruffled commander to reassure his people, but in the end it was his rigidity that prevented him from bending to circumstance. "Yeah," John says softly.

John notices the time on Elizabeth's watch. "I hate to eat and run, but it's Kate's turn today."

Elizabeth looks up, her wide, hazel eyes glinting in the soft morning light streaming through the windows. "Good luck, John."

"Yeah, thanks. I'll catch up with you later. Where are you working?"

"Level 8, 3 east."

"Okay."

~*~

Kate Heightmeyer is ready and waiting for John when he waves his hand over the sensor on her door. "John, come in."

John knows this is another hoop he has to jump through, though, after yesterday's extended conference with Daniel, he's hoping it won't be a drawn-out, wrenching session. "Kate, glad to see you're still around."

"I'm very relieved that you're back. I have an admission to make. I'm thankful every single day that I elected not to return to Earth, and then I feel terribly guilty about it."

John chuckles. "I kinda wish I hadn't gone either."

"I can't even begin to contemplate how you feel. I'd like to start by just talking about anything that you'd like to talk about."

"Okay, let me ask you a question--where are you going to draw the line between patient confidentiality and whatever report that Shen wants?"

Kate gives John a disappointed look and sighs. "I know that the first year here, the group dynamic felt very much like family--or even closer--and that led to a certain laxity in that quarter. I can assure you that that is no longer the case. I plan on only giving Director Shen the report that she asked for."

"Even if you think I'm danger to everyone?"

"Do you think of yourself as a dangerous person?"

"I don't think so, but it was made clear to me that she does."

"If I agree to share with you the details of my report to her, would that make you more likely to share?"

"Probably not, no. You wouldn't edit it based on my opinion, which would go against the spirit of the report."

"If you were one of your men, and you had sent him here, because you thought he was a threat, what would you want me to do?"

"I'd send him here because I trust your professional judgment, but I wouldn't want any details beyond yes, no, and is it treatable. This isn't something that anyone can change. I'm just curious about the level of detail that you're planning on revealing."

"Just the usual--high level diagnosis, and a broad discussion of any changes, if warranted. You've read my reports."

John takes a deep breath. "Okay."

Kate tips her head and looks at John like she knows what he's thinking. Maybe she can, or she figures the talking portion of the session was over, because she says, "Alright. Why don't we start with the Revised NEO and then move on to the Eysenck, you've taken both of them before."

Personality Inventories, oh what fun. The thing is, when he'd taken the tests that she's referring to, he'd been a brash, young Captain and hadn't really taken them seriously. Hell, now that he thinks back, John's a little surprised that they even let him take the stick of a Cessna, much less multi-million dollar helicopters and jets.

Regardless of the previous results, and his arguments about confidentiality, John honestly answers all of the questions.

The windows are open to the sound and smell of the sea, the room is light and airy and the furniture's comfortable. John takes his time to complete the two tests, and then they settle down to talk for another hour.

John's famished and starting feel a little queasy. The second time she has to repeat a question, Kate takes pity on him. "Come back tomorrow, John. We can finish this up in the afternoon."

"Thank you," John says with more relief than he intended.

"You're welcome, and thank you. I appreciate your candor."

John shrugs a shoulder slightly. "Have a good afternoon."

~*~

John snags a piece of fruit before heading off into the land of soft sciences. His shadow has changed and is now a pleasant enough Marine labeled Rice, and apparently word has gotten out that John's not going to put the whammy on them, because like Williamson, Rice isn't trailing him by a few feet.

Elizabeth is in a meeting when he finds her lab, so John wanders over to the physics lab.

Carter is out on the Odyssey, and Zelenka is at the center of a whirlwind of activity in the main lab. "Hey, how's it going?"

"Very well, Rodney has just sent us his first report, and there is much to do. Very exciting."

"Oh, where is McKay?"

"He is in 12 east. Says that he cannot work with so many people talking."

John gives Zelenka a quick lift of the brow. "Huh."

"Yes. In exchange for this information, I do not care if he works from his quarters in slippers."

John grins. "Later, Doc."

Zelenka waves him off, his eyes never leaving the monitor screen, hands flying over the keyboard. John finds 12E and Rodney, feet up on the desk, with Shaaziya next to him as they work on a report. Rania is playing under the desk, with a few 'toys' that have been quickly scrounged or donated. "Now I get it."

"Sheppard, come in and pull up a chair. Shaaz and I are just going over some of the data correlations on the ZPM-Lite and the collectors."

John drags a chair over to Rodney's other side, and straddles it, his arms resting on the back. He looks around the room, coffee pot in the corner, the remains of lunch trays on the counter, and a cot with a sleeping bag shoved into the corner. "Pretty sweet set up."

"It's working out very well. We like it." Rodney gives Shaaziya a soft look and a brief kiss on the cheek. "It has the added advantage of being suddenly and inexplicably disconnected from the security camera network."

John gives Rodney a knowing grin.

"What? My quarters don't have a security camera--I view this as an extension of my personal space."

Shaking his head, John leans around Rodney and asks Shaaziya, "How are you feeling?"

Shaaziya gives John that faint, mysterious smile. "Very much better than with Rania, not so sick."

"Keller wants to do an ultrasound soon. She and Paige have been comparing notes, like this," Rodney waves a hand at Shaaziya's middle, "is some kind of experiment," Rodney says with disgust.

"It's exciting, that's all. Hey, let me ask you a question--does the gravity difference still feel funny to you?"

Rodney shakes his head. "No, it's a relief actually, and a great way to lose a few pounds."

"Shaaz?"

"It is very interesting, I feel as if I might float away some times, but it is not... weird."

"Yeah, me too, except that I think it is weird. I almost wanted to jump down a flight of stairs this morning."

Rodney pierces him with a glare. "Restrain yourself; it would be such an ignominious death, to break your neck after all that you've been through."

"I said I wanted to, not that I actually did it." John makes a face at Rodney.

Rodney changes the subject. "So how are the interrogations going?"

"Not too bad. Did you know they have an anti-Prior device running?"

"No! I can't believe that they would do that, they don't have any information for long term exposure on fetal development!" Shaaziya gives John a worried look as Rodney jumps out of his chair. John stops him as he takes a breath to rant farther.

"Relax. I'm pretty sure that Jackson's going to give Shen the okay to turn it off soon." John pauses, and briefly bites his lip. "I can check, to make sure, if you want."

Shaaziya gives John a grateful--if somewhat concerned--look as she recalls the time John made sure she was clear of the SARS in Ayse. "Thank you, Quaralyn."

John raises his hand. "Not here, don't even breathe the word. Think it all you like--just don't say it. Okay?"

She nods. "Of course... John."

"Better." John kneels in front of her and lightly rubs his palms together before placing his hands on her slightly rounded tummy. His power feels weaker to him, and he has to push hard to be able to see the child within her. "Hello, sweetheart," he murmurs. He withdraws slowly, and leans back heavily, sweat forming on his face. "I don't see any problems." John looks up at Shaaziya, "Do you want to know, boy or girl?"

"I would like to know. Rodney?"

"Yes, yes, fine, let's derail the betting pool."

John laughs, he hadn't even thought of that. "It's a girl. She looks fine, and you're doing great."

"And her name, John?" Shaaziya looks down on him with utter adoration and says his name the same way that she says 'Quaralyn'.

John smiles; you can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of her. "Muna." He feels thoroughly exhausted by wielding his power, and Shaaziya's devotion isn't recharging him, not like it used to. John thinks that it's odd that he had to push so hard to get it to work, and he leaves with a small knot of worry in his chest.

 

Further Disclaimers: SG1 characters belong to Double Secret Productions, Gekko Film Corp. and Kawoosh! Productions.

<< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >>

| East/West Index Page | dossier's story page | Site Map O'Doom | email dossier |